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I do not come here to condemn other people, nor do I come here to judge. This means that I do not judge people of other religions, pagans included. I love people from every walk of life, and I'm proud of that.

Before I found God, I lived in darkness for a very long time, even on the brightest of days. I don't know how God found me. All I know is that I am thankful that he is there.

My darkness did not come from being pagan. Paganism is described as believing in many gods. The pagan religion that I took part in was very positive.

However, my faith in paganism has faded. It is no longer there. So I turned to God.

I don't know how he did it. One day, I was typing on my computer, tears running down my face, because I felt lost and empty, and I started to write down the words I so desperately wanted to hear from God. Surprisingly, I could not stop. My fingers kept typing, and the words just kept coming. Finally, when I was done, I read what I had written. They, indeed, were the words of God. And, suddenly, my world became a little brighter, and the empty void in my heart closed.

It was as if something bridged a gap in me, and, somehow, I became whole again.

I've always been a strong girl. I've been through one mental break-down after another, and I have dragged myself back up on my feet. I've been in the Mental Health Unit at the hospital, and I've been in a residential treatment center where the employees treat the patients worse than stray, mangy dogs. I do not give up and I do not let go. I'm not a quitter.

I've always known that, sometimes, if you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel, that maybe you just haven't walked far enough yet. What I didn't realize was that, all this time, that secret inner strength, that inner voice of guidance ... they were God's gentle words, guiding me along, saying,

"Don't stop. Don't quit and don't give up. I'm right behind you, and things will get better, if you just keep on going. Put one foot in front of the other. I am here for you. Just keep on walking. Have trust in me, I am guiding you towards the light."

Constantly, God's words were guiding me, and while I didn't hear them in my mind, I felt them in my soul. With grit and determination, I got back on my feet, and I kept on going.

And that's how I wound up here. I can see God clearly now. I can hear his voice, and I can feel his love. If God does exist, and I know he does, I know that he loves me most. More than the birds of the air, more than the fish of the sea.

All those years of suffering never went unnoticed by God. He wasn't just right there at the end of my dark tunnel, he was lifting me up, and teaching me to walk towards him, just as a new parent guides their little baby to walk by supporting them from behind, and, at the same time, encouraging them to walk toward them. I was that baby, and God is my divine Father. And every good father loves his little girl.

One thing I've learned is that, even though I didn't think he was there, through his great power, God was guiding me. Secretly, he was the one, small inner voice that kept me from committing suicide by telling me, in a soft, tender voice, "Don't give up yet. I don't want you to die. There is still so much yet for you to see and do. I love you! Don't do this!"

One night, just a few months ago, before I found Jesus, I was holding an open bottle of psychiatric pills in my hand. I was about to take the whole thing. But something stopped me. I did not yet know what it was, but, instead of taking the pills, I walked down to our small clinic.

The clinic is a Catholic-founded one, and, even though I'm not Catholic, the people of this small hospital are very compassionate. They watched over me and allowed me to wait in the emergency room lobby, while my mom came to meet me.

What I didn't realize was that God was watching over me the entire time.

He makes me strong. He makes me brave. He is the one that I fall back on when life rail-roads me backward and pile-drives me into ground, and he is literally my saving grace when I can't take it anymore.

Just like the time I walked down to the hospital that night. God saves lives, and I'm living proof of that.

Never lose faith, and never let go. He's there, even though you may not see him