Breakups and dating

ADVISE BY RICK AND PETE ON ESTEEMING YOURSELF AFTER A BREAKUP AND BEFORE DATING.
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
True Courtship by Pete Chryss

RW written by Rick Warren-Saddleback Christian Fellowship, Ca.

PC written by Pete Chryss-ICON Crossroads Ministry, Ca.

RW-Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.

PC-Desperation and misery are emotions of the flesh that are not cured as they are fed. These emotions are items within you that as you take personal inventory of yourself, you must take to the cross. Loneliness and desperation cannot be fulfilled by another person. You will only become more co-dependant. You must not rely on another to tell you it is ok to feel good.


RW-Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

PC-Pride cometh before the fall. God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. There is a fine line between superiority and inferiority.

RW-Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't blame. Don't lie. Don't pretend.

PC-People who do not have your heart will inevitably bring you down, all the way down. Maybe not right away, but to associate with those who do not subscribe to the idea of living Christ like, will infect and plague your walk. Don't worry, you will notice it. After it's occurred. If they are not showing the walk with all that talk, it is not to be enlisted in your life.


RW-Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

PC-Hard for many, especially yours truly. Remember, Jesus led as a servant. John 3:30 says "He must become greater, I must become less." Gain honor through humility! Gain strength through servanthood!


RW-Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Don't rebound into the arms of absolutely Mr. or Mrs. Wrong.

PC-You cannot make others return to you. You cannot convince them of your love,your heart, or your sincerity. You can however, and must, be faithful to yourself and to your moral standards. Rebounds do not work. You cannot replace what Satan has stolen from you. Understand Saints, Satan was able to take it because you opened the door when he knocked! Satan has no power over you that you don't give him! PERIOD! God can restore what the devil has seized. He will lift you up to prosperity and dignity again. These are promises in the Bible. Yes, promises! It is conditional, however. You must claim that promise for your life and have blind faith in God's ability and desire to bless you. And lastly, this time you must treat the blessing with care. Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option!

RW-To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements in your life and stop lying to yourself and God by denying they are there: unequally yoked friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

PC-You can fill the holes in yourself with servanthood. No matter how bleak your situation, you only need look over your shoulder to find a child of God's with much greater needs. Fill those needs for that saint. Plug the holes in their boat. Edify their life and give them a lasting testimony of Christ's mercy, grace, and loving kindness through your actions and deeds.

RW-Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Always consider what your actions do to another.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.
If the moment escapes you, so will something you dearly love.

PC-It is often much easier to make a situation in life worse rather than better. Beware of your sharp tongue and do not let a thought of revenge or vengeance enter your mind. God promises that He will exact revenge for our pain. He says he will make what is done in the dark, seen by all in the light. In the flesh, we are too prone to feel we are "entitled" to redeem ourselves for a wrong doing. It is because of our hardened hearts that we committ murder with our tongue. Instead use all that energy to speak blessing and favor into the others' life. Let words of love pour from your mouth. Train yourself to harness the power of the tongue. Speak the words of love and affirmation you want to and refrain from because of fear of society's opinions and lack of values. Your friends do not have to live with your pain or your regrets.

RW-Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

RW-Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

PC-Life meets no one halfway. If you want a blessing God has for you, go out there and take it! Stop blaming another for your pain. They may have a big part, but are you blameless before the eyes of God?

PC-It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

A dear loved one of mine, who happens to be an exceptional author, once wrote something to the effect of "after enough hurt, you learn not to love." I appreciate the brilliance she has, but I will tell you without doubt that she is wrong. I don't say I disagree, she is wrong as per the Bible. God is love. We are God's children, made in His image. We do not ever lose the ability to love. We lose the ability to want to love. We live in fear of being hurt. Do we not believe God is the all of all? He can restore. He can bring back trust. Saints, He wants to! By not believing and living in fear, we are limiting God's ability to bless us and heal us. Pray for Him to give you a heart of flesh.

I pray you all feel the Lord's mighty hand on your shoulder today.

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'Don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option.'